Hi 2014. We haven’t been properly introduced, but you decided to open up your first Monday and real workday by waking me at 5 AM (no problem, I was ready for that), dumping a heavy mix of snow and freezing rain on the area so I’d have to shovel snow (well, it goes with the territory, being Canadian I suppose) and finally having my bedroom door fall on me (NOT COOL – WAY OFFSIDE!). Maybe you thought you could get my attention that way, and I could say Mission Accomplished, but I don’t want to give you the satisfaction.
And 2013 was the year I turned 40. You don’t have the advantage of a significant birthday of mine, so I wouldn’t get cocky if you’re hoping to grind me down or anything silly like that. Maybe you don’t know who you’re dealing with… my mistake, as I said, we haven’t been properly introduced.
I not only graduated from one of Canada’s best Engineering programs, but I studied Electromagnetic Fields and other subjects in German. By choice.
I’ve hiked the West Coast Trail.
Do you know 2003? It tried to get me by having me get dumped and laid off on the same day, then gave me melanoma a month later. Low blows, and I certainly remember the year, but it’s been more than a decade and I can write the enormity of the entire experience in a nostalgic sentence like any other joke or anecdote.
I’ve struck, thrown and locked other human bodies and had them do the same to me until my neck couldn’t take it any more.
I’ve run far, and when running got too boring, I swam and biked too. I married my running buddy, so as not to have to chase after her the rest of my life – I’m smart like that.
When I procreate, I make Sharks and Lightning. The Lightning Kid was born with what they call a ‘disability’ – he’s walking, talking, going to a regular day care without assistance, and showing strong signs of being potty ready and he’s only two.
Do what you can 2014. In another decade, I’ll still be raising my boys with an active, adventurous lifestyle, with a woman who could be described as some kind of cross between a Queen and an Angel by my side… and I’ll need to do math (but not Vector Calculus in German) to figure out which one of the twenty-teens you were.